Tag Archives: influencing others

Mentor; His Name Became Synonymous with Leading

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In Homer’s classic tale, King Odysseus leaves on a quest, placing his son, Telecachus, in the capable hands of Mentor. As the boy grows, Mentor provides guidance on a variety of topics, often on things the boy could never ask, or discuss with his father. As a result of this ancient legend, a modern day leadership skill was created, mentoring.

Mentor and Telecachus.
-By Pablo E. Fabisch – http://paesmem.stanford.edu, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=8299261

Mentoring in today’s age means a person with greater experience guides a person of lesser experience. Like Mentor in the story, the guide is trusted but not someone the follower answers to, like a parent or boss. This misconception about mentorship results in potential proteges to regard appointed mentors with suspicion, reducing their growth.

Organizations encourage supervisors to mentor their direct reports, however, the best mentoring relationships happen outside supervisory channels. One of the reasons Telemachus was able to confide more in Mentor than his father was simple; Mentor was not his father. Likewise, employees get more out of this developmental relationship with someone not in a position to judge and evaluate performance, mentees execute new practices and fail.

Just because mentoring relationships occur outside the supervisory channel does not mean organizations cannot implement mentoring programs. Instead, they pair a protégé with someone who will not have a negative impact on employment for failing. Organizations accomplish this by aligning mentees with a mentor in a different department. It is vital that the mentor accomplished similar tasks as the person seeking a mentor.

There are times a mentoring relationship could occur in a supervisory chain. An example is a C-Suite executive mentoring a front line supervisor with several layers between them. After all, the mentee may not be directly supervised by the Vice President of Marketing, but if his boss is, then the relationship will be viewed suspiciously by the person in the middle.

Voluntary Relationship

Those in a mentoring relationship can use a variety of means to communicate to help the protégé accomplish the goal.
-Photo by Vanessa Garcia on Pexels.com

The relationship between the protégé and mentor should be voluntary, even in a work situation. A person may be directed to participate in a mentoring program, but both parties should have a say in the relationship to achieve best results. Many times others understand the need for a mentor when the program is explained well. Some people still participate unwillingly. A good mentor can bring positive change to reluctant mentees. Sadly, some still fail to see the opportunity mentoring offers, reducing the effectiveness of the program.

Mentoring relationships are voluntary. The terms of the relationship can be negotiated. The first meeting should establish the terms of the mentoring relationship. Both parties agree

  • how long the relationship will last,
  • how often meetings will occur,
  • boundaries expected by both,
  • how to deal with issues between meetings, and
  • handling confidentiality concerns.

In some workplace directed programs, some of these terms may be dictated.

It is nice to create a new friend in the mentoring process, but the purpose of the relationship is to help the protégé achieve a particular goal. Therefore, it is important for the guide and the person seeking a guide to understand what to look for in the other. Both the potential protégé and mentor should evaluate if the other has the skills to fulfill their role.

A mentor is only a trusted guide if they have done something similar as the protégé seeks to accomplish. Potential mentors should honestly assess their ability to dedicate the time & effort required to help guide the protégé. Determine if the mentor previously demonstrated the capacity to help others grow and learn, and accept that as they guide the protégé, they also learn and grow. Has the person shared experiences with others that helped them grow or avoid mistakes? The more skills possessed by the mentor in each area improves success rates.

Selecting the right person to mentor you is important. What proof exists demonstrating the protégé is committed to learning and achieving their goal? As a protégé, clearly articulate what help you seek from your potential mentor. Good mentees ask good questions about feedback provided by mentors. They complete tasks as promised. They show up at meetings ready to address the issues on the agenda, and they show up on time, whether it is a phone call, a video meeting, or emailing a report for review.

Mentors and proteges should seek these qualities in the other. Not every mentor – protege relationship works. Understanding this allows each person to know they can walk away on good terms. You may need that person in the future.

Process of Mentoring

Use the opening meeting to get to know each other, negotiate the terms of the relationship, and identify the goal of the relationship. Use this meeting to identify how each person is accountable to the other; wait, you mean the mentor is responsible to the protégé? Yes! If the mentor promises to provide something, they are accountable to the protégé to provide that resource. Figure out when future meetings will occur and how frequently you will meet. Most importantly, identify the conditions that signal the end of the mentoring relationship.

I suggested a few times that this relationship is about the goal, implying your mentor is a stranger. That is not always true. During my studies in the U. S. Army Sergeants Major Course, I had two mentors. The first retired halfway through my attendance. I had relationships with both of them before starting the course. I still have a social relationship with both of them, years after completing the course. Our mentoring relationship ended when I graduated, but not our person relationship.

Social relationships may continue after the mentoring relationship ends.
-Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

There are many ways people can meet today. If possible, to meet face-to-face. You can use technology, just remember, relationships are better in person. Emails, video and voice calls, and in-person meetings are all good ways to check in and follow up on progress. Timing depends on the needs of the protégé and the availability of the mentor. Always follow up. Schedule your next meeting before ending the current meeting.

Closing mentoring relationship

Close the relationship when you achieve your goal. If you select a new goal and wish to re-establish a mentoring relationship with your current mentor, ask. If you are the mentor, be clear when you are done providing guidance to your protégé. Failing to do so ensures they will continue to think you are.

Mentor was a trusted guide for Telecachus. He set an example of how those with more experience can guide those with less experience. Ideally, mentoring relationships occur outside the organization’s supervisory channel. This allows the protégé to confess errors without fear of retribution. Mentoring relationships are voluntary. They have a beginning, middle, and end. Either party may terminate the relationship even before the protégé accomplishes his goal. The mentor and mentee agree how the relationship will work, the timeline to accomplish the goal, frequency of meetings, how each is accountable to the other, and the conditions that signal the goal is accomplishment, ending the mentoring relationship. Anyone seeking to accomplish tough things should have a mentor. Likewise, make yourself available to those seeking a trusted guide to success. Today, start the process to find a mentor, and someone to mentor. It is a great way to learn from others in both roles and is an important leadership skill.

References

  • Abbajay, M. (2019). Mentoring Matters: Three Essential Elements Of Success. Forbes (on-line edition). Retrieved from forbes.com on 11/28/22.
  • Doby, J. (2022). Task force Spartan mentorship network. Task Force Spartan. Camp Arifjan, Kuwait.
  • James, F. (2016). Becoming a mentor. Leadership Development Workshop at New Hampshire National Guard.
  • Martin, T. (2022) (CG). Developing leaders; FM 6-22. Headquarters, Department of the Army. Washington, DC

Focusing Power & Influence

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Machiavelli cast a dark light on leaders who acquire power. However power is necessary to influence others. — By Santi di Tito – Cropped and enhanced from a book cover found on Google Images., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9578897

Wise leaders understand and obtain power at many levels. While the opening statement may sound Machiavellian and cause some to turn away, power is necessary to influence others to accomplish tasks that grow and improve the organization. Leaders set agendas. Without power, leaders cannot influence others to do the work required to accomplish organizational goals and mission. By definition, leaders do not work alone. A solopreneur is not a leader. If you are a solo act there are not others to lead. If you want to lead others, you need to acquire and harness power to influence others.

Influence is the tool required to use power to effectively inspire others. Think of influence like the lens of a spot light and power as the light source. The leader uses influence to focus the power like a lens focuses light illuminating the objective so followers know where to go and what to do.  Leader have five sources of power: referent, expert, coercive, legitimate and reward. Leaders who understand each power source and how to effectively weld it will successfully influence others to take actions that result in task accomplishment.

Referent power is likability. A more common word, is charisma. This source of power may get you in the door, but rarely lasts long except with those who are weak. A leader who relies solely on referent power loses followers when he has to start making unpopular decisions. Everyone wants a raise every year but sometimes raises hurt the organization. If people become upset because the leader made the unpopular decision not to give raises the leader loses all his power. Referent power is a great asset but must be supplemented with other sources of power if the leader expects to sustain success.

Expert power stems from one’s special or in-depth skills or knowledge about at topic or area. This provides power in two ways. The first is like the artillerymen of old who guarded the secrets of their craft so their skills would always be in demand by armies. If the battlefield commander wanted to use artillery, he had to rely on those with that special skill and knowledge. The second yet potentially fleeting source is through the ability to teach others your skill or knowledge. When you share those secrets that have made you successful, you have the potential to create rivals and replacements. Alternatively, you could also develop collaborators who desire to achieve more than either of you could alone. There is a saying that a manager is measured by numbers or things produced, sold, fixed and similar measures whereas a leader is measured by the number of leaders he creates. Even if others develop the same skills and knowledge as you, if you continue to perfect your skills and knowledge you will always be ahead of those you teach.

Legitimate, reward and coercive often go together but not always. Legitimate power is granted when someone is place in a recognized leadership position within an organization. A CEO, General Manager, or Shop Foreman all have legitimate power. It is power given to them by the organization to make things happen. With this power, people do things just because you say to do them.  Like referent power, this source is also limited. You lose control of people when they quit and go work with another organization. Consequently, leaders in positions of legitimate power use reward and coercive power.

Water uses the power provided by gravity to influence the motion of the waterwheel. Without the power of gravity water would not fall and the waterwheel would not turn. Focusing the power of gravity allows people to use the waterwheel to create a wide assortment of things. — Photo by form PxHere

Examples of reward power include the ability to dole out pay raises, promotions, cool assignments, and prime parking spaces. Examples of coercive power include employment termination, demotions, and selecting someone else’s pet project. Reward and coercive power does not solely rest with recognized organizational leaders. Sales reps can influence behavior by offering a better price or withholding the latest product based on previous purchasing decisions.

Each of these power sources have advantages and drawbacks. Sources of power are like tools; the more you have in your tool box, the greater your abilities. A leader who wields legitimate, referent, and expert power will likely be more successful than the leader who only has referent power. Good leaders learn which power sources to use in different circumstances. Their influence grows as they increase their ability to use each source of power enabling them to accomplish more and influence more people.

As leaders practice their leadership skills they increase the power options available. Using a variety of tools shape followers into quality employees, volunteers and future leaders. When they show those future leaders how to use the full spectrum of leadership tools, they prepare the organization for continued success well into the future as new leaders learn to adjust the focus and intensity of the organization’s spotlight.