Communication is the first wall of the Form of Trust. That is because communication is the most important, and most difficult skill to learn and master. You will be more successful as a communicator if you remember the basic principle, repetition through more than one source said in more than one way. A simple formula is tell them what you are going to tell them. Tell them. Summarize what you told them. Sending a message is only half the work. Receiving and responding to feedback is the second half of the work, and often most overlooked. It is in the second half of the work that chances of successful message transfer occurs. By being open to the feedback to your message, you begin to understand how your message was received, other people’s reactions to your message, and if it was understood the way you wanted it understood.

Take a look at Claude Monet’s painting On the Bank of the Seine, Bennecort. Really, stop reading now and look at the details in the painting. Determine what message the artist was trying to convey. What does his choices of objects, lighting, paint, brush strokes, angles, people, and colors tell viewers? In 1868, few people had the ability to express themselves using images, either paintings, drawings, or photographs. Today, almost anyone can and does use images and video to communicate. These opportunities add to the complex nature of communication. To quote an old expression, “A picture is worth 1000 words.” When communicating with others, you want to paint a picture for them with words understanding that even then, they will put their twist on the image requiring you to ensure they understand your meaning.

In previous essays, I discussed communication from a leadership or supervisory perspective. One earns the right to lead others by developing the characteristic of being a good communicator. Like the game of chess, the basic moves of communication are simple. Mastering those basic skills takes a lifetime and requires constant work, practice, and willingness to learn. Some readers will wonder why communication is the junior person’s responsibility. Simple, you are the person trying to create trust and credibility with your boss, supervisor, or other leader.

A reliable model for effective communication is sharing the message three ways and asking effective questions. In the simplest form, tell the other person what you are going to tell them, tell them, and tell them what you told them. You will notice in classes that instructors offer a preview of what the class. They transition to the teaching portion. At the end of the class, they summarize the lesson in a variety of ways.

An example of the way this might work well for you is to send your boss, or other person you need to communicate with, an email asking for a meeting about the topic. As a result of your email, you receive a meeting date and meet face to face, via phone, or some sort of video option and talk about the topic. Following the meeting, write a quick note that summarizes your takeaways from the meeting. This really could be a sticky note you leave on the person’s door or cubical, or perhaps a text message, Slack post, or similar means, but not a means you used already.

As you change the way you communicate professionally, you will find barriers to overcome. There are three types of barriers, physical, psychological, and technological. Physical barriers include those you can actually reach out and touch, such as a wall between you and another person. Physical barriers also include the noise occurring around you that prevents another person from hearing you, or perhaps part of a page in a set of written instructions that are missing from a document. It seems such barriers are easy to overcome, but if people fail to recognize the barriers, they do nothing to bring them down. An example is a war veteran I know who is hard of hearing, even when wearing his hearing aids. His wife will frequently ask him questions or tell him things when he is on the other side of the house. Both feel frustrated that messages are not received and acted upon.

Psychological barriers are harder to identify. Such barriers include things like people not speaking the same language, one of the people lacking education or training to understand concepts expressed, people who are over tired, or distracted by other things. The language thing seems like a simple thing to identify. How many times have you gone to a doctor’s office and asked him to explain your diagnosis to you in English? It is very likely much of what the doctor said included English words, but because you were not familiar with the words, it was still a foreign language.  Similarly, a master carpenter can look at a piece of wood and toss it into the discard pile, knowing it will not work for the application. When an apprentice asks why, the master not only has to point out the defects, but also the concepts that support why that board fails to meet the needs of the project. Such psychological barriers are more difficult to identify, so the person sending the message must have some strategies to ensure the message was actually received. 

When I first learned about communication barriers, there were the two we just discussed. As I write this, on a word processor on a cloud-based application that did not exist in the early 1980s, I realize that we now have a new barrier in the mix of communications, technology. Who has not had the experience of starting your video conference application a few minutes before your virtual meeting only to receive the message that your application will take a few minutes to update before it can run? Emails dissolve into cyberspace. Hackers sync a different voice over your orientation video. Voice are garbled as your internet connection becomes unstable. All these problems with technology and more are barriers that interfere with communication. 

Questions are one way to improve the chances of understanding and overcoming all these barriers. Ask questions during the conversation or email in ways that open dialog. Avoid questions that can be answered with yes/no, or other short answers unless the point is to collect or confirm a specific piece of information like a time or location. Questions like, “What will a successful project you describe look like?”, or “How will I know if I met your intent?”, are excellent questions to expand discussion. Ask Powerful Questions by Will Wise, and Chad Littlefield is a great book to explore different types of questions. Their overall thesis is to ask questions of others from a place of curiosity.

Asking questions from a place of curiosity tells others you are interested in them and what they have to say. Such questions sound sincere because they are sincere. Sincere questions help build trust by improving communications. People are more likely to trust someone they like. Remember, if the point of the conversation is a specific topic or project, focus your curiosity and questions on that topic. General conversation questions help build relationships, but if you are talking to others at work, the majority of your discussions should be related to work that helps your organization accomplish its mission, less on who is sleeping with whom.

Developing trust as a new or junior person in an organization can be difficult. Communication is the first wall of the form to pour your trust cornerstone. Learning to communicate better with others demonstrates your trustworthiness. Use a variety of methods to communicate and follow up with other means of communications so your message is not forgotten. Letting your boss know you are making progress on an assignment means you are less likely to be micromanaged. Modes of communication include speaking to someone, sending a note, letter or email, using a video, or some sort of image. Be aware of the physical, psychological, and technological barriers that interfere with communication. Learn to ask powerful questions that show others you care about what they say and ensure what you said was understood. These simple changes in behavior will help make you a better communicator.

References

Davies, P., Hofrichter, F., Jacobs, J, Roberts, A, & Simon, D. (2009). Janson’s basic history of western art. (8^th ed.). Pearson – Prentice Hall

St. Cyr, C. (2/28/2023). The three pitch rule of communication expanded. [blog post]. https://saintcyrtraining.com/2023/02/28/the-three-pitch-rule-of-communication-expanded/#comments Retrieved 10/31/23

Seeing Art History (4/2/2015). Claude Monet: On the bank of the seine, Bennecort. [video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIppyK3R4W0 Retrieved 10/17/23

Wickham, J. (1983). FM 22-100 Military Leadership. United States Army, US Printing Office.

Wise, W., & Littlefield, C. (2018). Ask powerful questions. Podcraft