Last year, I published a series of articles on developing trust as a leader. But what if you are new in your organization, or you are not in a leadership position, is trust still important? Yes it is. Remember, leadership is not about positions. Leadership is about influence. You earn supervisory positions by demonstrating you are a person of character who possesses an ability to influence others positively. In turn, those people accomplish things that help your organization succeed. In the Cornerstone series, I outlined six areas leaders work on to build trust; only two of them were specific to leaders. The other four apply to anyone trying to build trust. Think of those four areas like the sides of a concrete form. If one is missing, the form fails. The four sides of the form are communication, proficiency, respect, responsibility.

Trust is easy when you meet people you do not know. It is harder when someone comes along with a poor reputation. Trust is also hard to regain when lost. Think about the ancient fable of the scorpion and frog. The scorpion wanted to cross a brook and asked the frog to help. The frog was leery, but the scorpion convinced the frog to trust him. The scorpion said that if he stung the frog in the water, both would die. Part way across, the scorpion stings the frog. When the frog asked why, the scorpion replies stinging is what scorpions do.

Some argue that it is better to live without trusting others. Nothing great ever would have happened without trust between people. Trust is the cornerstone that supports great things. This is the first in a series on developing trust for everyone. There will be one post for each side of the form, and another on regaining trust that was lost. Of course, the series will close with a summary and conclusion.

Communication

Communication is the first side of trust cornerstone and the concrete form. It is such an important skill, I wrote a series on how to improve communication. You can find it here. However, I will also boil down the important points you need to know. Use simple, short sentences with short words. Follow up with others a short time later to ensure they remember what was said.

When people tell you something, ask appropriate questions to ensure you understand what they are saying. I once asked a Soldier I led to light up some people. It was dark and I could not see them. He understood my instruction to apply large quantities of fire to kill those we assembled. He questioned my order, allowing me to clarify my meaning. Soon the people were bathed in the glow of HMMWV headlights I once heard someone say (if I remembered who, they would be credited below), “The problem with communication it people think it happened.”

Proficiency

Proficiency is simply the measure of how well someone does something. For years, I was a police firearms instructor. Being a firearms instructor requires one to be able to shoot well. Not everyone who shoots well can teach. To be a trusted firearms instructor, a person must be able to both shoot well, and teach others to shoot well. You might be a great teacher, but if you cannot show others how to do the task, they will not trust you.

You gain proficiency by doing things over and over. Having a mentor helps. Many building trades have an apprentice system, where the master teaches the apprentice the tricks of trade. Eventually the skilled apprentice becomes a master and the cycle continues to turn.

This quality is in very short supply today. Treating others respectfully is an element of trust known for thousands of years. Most of us learned the golden rule as children, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” A newer version is to treat others the way they expect to be treated.

Respect

As the executive director of a small non-profit, I often have a new staff member or intern help me prepare the meeting space before a board meeting. The new person will ask why I take the time to ensure there is a bottle of water, pad of paper, writing implements, and printed handouts at each seat. Interns especially point out that as students, they are expected to bring those things with them to class. I respond that I expect the board members to bring all those things with them also. However, each is a volunteer. Each leads another organization and has lots of other things to think about each day. Providing the little extras each meeting shows respect and gratitude for each board member’s time they dedicate to our cause.

Interns are also prohibited from bringing staff coffee and doing menial tasks other staff are not asked to do. We find meaningful work for our interns that helps them grow and develop the skills to work with us in some capacity.

Responsibility

Responsibility closely parallels proficiency. As one becomes proficient, one become more responsible. A responsible, proficient person requires less supervision because the boss trusts their ability and responsibility. Responsible people ensure they take care of things they promise. They respond to others thoughtfully rather than snapping all the time.

A popular way responsibility is measured today is through credit scores. Each of the big credit reporting agencies have their own formulas for weighting your credit worthiness. Each is tied to certain behaviors, such as how timely you pay your bills and your debt to income ratio. Credit reporters scores are nothing more than a numerical system to tell others how responsible someone is with money.

Conclusion

Trust is the cornerstone of character. How you behave tells others how trustworthy you are. You can pour a solid cornerstone by building a strong form with four sides. These sides show others how well you communicate, how proficient you are, how you respect other people, and whether you are responsible. Each of these areas are a matter of disciplined behavior. Jock Willink’s mantra on discipline is simple and true, “Discipline equals freedom.” The more disciplined you are in each of these areas, the stronger your finished cornerstone of trust. With increased trust, you gain influence, allowing you to start to learn to lead others. Use the cornerstone of trust to build your character. Others look for strong character when they want to build great teams. With a strong, trustworthy character, you will always be in demand.