Tag Archives: Writing

Thoughts on Character

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Some of my most read posts read are building trust and developing character as a leader. Now seems like a good time to post some rambling thoughts on character and leadership. Who knows, maybe some of them may be topics for a future series.

No one is born with a sparkling character. It is something you develop over your lifetime. Because a person can always make choices, they can always change their character. I know a number of people who created problems in their community when they were young. As a police officer at the time, we had plenty of encounters. Some of these young people began to understand, if they continued to behave in certain ways, they were going to have a confining lifestyle. Several started behaving differently, in conformity with the criminal laws of the State. Some now even own businesses and have other people working for them. If you did not know them a couple of decades ago, you would be surprised by some of the stories I could tell you about them. These people have become well respected community members.

Some of their peers failed to alter their courses. I still read their names in the POLICE REPORT section of the newspaper from time-to-time. They continue to make bad choices, that sometimes cross the line defining a crime. They struggle to make ends meet, keep a job, and stay in a stable relationship. As a result, they are always at risk of losing food, housing, and other basic life necessities. They cannot borrow money because they cannot be trusted by even close friends to repay loans. They struggle to keep a job because they choose to extend fun into a time that prevents them from performing well at work or showing up on time. However, even these people can choose to behave differently and develop a reputation for having a different character.

What does that mean to the new young leader reading these words? It means that you will make mistakes. Those mistake will cause a temporary lose of trust. What matters is what you do next. You can choose to learn and move forward by selecting behaviors that regain trust and developing character, or you can choose something else. People will more readily forgive errors of competence. They are less likely to forgive errors of character. Most people expect others to make decisions that do not always work out with the best information at hand. Those same people expect others to make the best decision possible, but not to engage in deliberate trustworthy behavior.

As you grow and learn as a person and a leader, you will find that many of the moral dilemmas you used to face melt away. What used to be hard decisions become simple because the right answer becomes more obvious with each choice that ends with positive results. Even mistakes can have positive results.

Something I look for when hiring people is their ability to work independently. I neither want nor will look over someone’s shoulder who is capable. I know I have to train that person, but once they understand the job, they are on their own. That does not mean I stop supporting them. It does mean I am not going to make all the decisions. I would not need that person if I wanted to decide everything.

Know that character is not something you have. It is something you develop. You, repeated choices tell others about your inner beliefs. Based on your choices, others perceive you as trustworthy, competent, and caring, or not. You can choose at anytime to change to behavior to gain more trust, improve your competence, and care more. When you consistently demonstrate trustworthy, competent, caring behavior, others will notice the change in your character. It will not be long before few can remember the old you, but it does take time. Stay the course. Do the right things. People will notice and remember.

So why this reflection on character lately. Lots of things really; many related to politics and some of the lack of character of some of the candidates. However, I often remember I am far from a perfect person. For example, some of you have been reading long enough to remember when I made a promise to post two blogs a month. Other more recent readers may remember a promise I made amending that first promise to once a month. If you look back at my body of work, you see for the most part I have published near the end of every month for eight or so years. This year life has been crazy and I have been off my publishing cycle. Working to return to a once per month routine helps me recenter my focus, and re-establish my trust with readers. I do ask you all to remember that an important leadership task is to prioritize work. In the last year, my writing has been a lower priority than other things happening in life. People are willing to forgive those times when such disturbances occur, but if one never returns to those important habits others rely on, one looses those followers. Thanks for continuing to read my writing.

Improved Communication, Hit a Home Run with 3 Pitches

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IMG_0633Three Pitch Rule

Dateline Concord 1991: “Any lesson you want your students to remember needs to be repeated at least three times in different ways.” Linda Lang stands before a class of wanna-be DARE Officers as she introduces the Three Pitch Rule. Fast-forward to 2000 something. Ray Mello, a trainer of police prosecutors introduces one of Ray’s Rules, “Present anything you want the judge to remember at least three times. Fewer than three times and he or she will forget.” During firearms instructor class, Brad Parker, the curriculum development specialist, is presenting tips for teaching adult learners. “Ensure your officer students remember important parts of your class by telling they what you are going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you told them. When people hear the information three times, they are more likely to retain the it.” By this point in my career, I figured out anything worth saying is worth saying three times.

Recently I asked my boss for information for a project he gave me to complete. He told me he would take care of it. Several weeks had passed so I asked again. He assured me he would take care of it, “tomorrow.” Several weeks later, I was asking again. After the third request, he gave me what I needed and acted surprised I had not asked him for it sooner. I had asked three times.

Several months ago I gave one of my officers a community relations program assignment. I told him he had four weeks to do the research and put together a rough outline of his proposed presentation. He left excited about the project. Three weeks later I asked him brief me on his progress. I got the deer in the headlights look from him. He had no recollection of our discussion but assured me if he needed to, he could finish one by the end of the week. I asked for an update at the end of the week. Though he remembered the assignment, he forgot some of the details. He did complete it the following week, after I asked the third time.

My wife and I were discussing some vacation plans. I had some questions. The look on her face told me I should have known the answer. She says she told me the answers to my questions several weeks ago while I was working on a home project and on the way to a ball game. She commented that it seems like I never remember anything unless she tells me three times. My wife is right; she does need to tell me three times!

This conversation made me wonder why trainers employ the three pitch rule, quote the three pitch rule and follow the three pitch rule during training yet fail to follow the rule in other areas of their careers and lives. I remember thinking after my second conversation with my direct report that I should only have to tell him once. Likewise I could not understand why the boss couldn’t remember what I asked for after the first time. Obviously my wife thinks when she tells me the departure time of the plane in January for our April vacation, I should remember it. The reality is people need to hear things three times to remember them, whether that person is a supervisor receiving information from an employee, an employee making requests of a supervisor, or a husband talking with his wife, the three pitch rule applies.

The key to using this strategy effectively requires some creativity to avoid hen pecking. Calling an employee into your office and telling him, “I want you to do this, I want you to do this, I want you to do this.” is not effective. How you implement this strategy requires you to identify your communication strengths and how your intended receiver best receives information. Using three different methods increase effectiveness.

Begin by simply telling the other person what you want or expect. You might suggest they take a few notes. Follow up within 24 hours with an email, letter or sticky note. Place a phone call or send a text message two or three days later to see if the other person has any questions and check on preliminary progress. Using this method allows you to pitch your message three times and reinforce the importance of the task or appointment. Each connection allows opportunities for additional information sharing, idea swapping, asking of questions and clarification of expectations improving the quality of the finished product and the employee’s abilities. Using different modes of communication, in person, in writing and by telephone, also improves communication by appealing to different communication styles of others. What they miss in one, they pick up in another. Making your pitch three times means three weeks from now, when you have your follow up meeting, you are more likely to have results.

During this message, the Three Pitch Rule was introduced by a series of three teaching stories about The Three Pitch Rule. In the middle of the article three examples of failure were provided to reinforce the message of the importance of the Three Pitch Rule. The middle of the essay also provided directions to apply the three pitch rule by using three means of communication for each pitch. Here in the conclusion I have mentioned the Three Pitch Rule three times and demonstrated how you can apply it to ensure important messages are received, understood and acted upon. Go forth and start pitching!