Tag Archives: Leading with Gratitude

Leading with Appreciation

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Not all bosses are leaders. Bosses are, well, bossy and ungrateful. Leaders express thanks. Leaders create safety. Leaders seek input. Leaders provide and willing receive feedback.
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For too long the image of a boss has been a person who expresses little appreciation for the work of their employees and barks orders expecting immediate compliance. These bosses are not well respected, are marginally effective, and frequently lose people to others. Sometimes well respected leaders act bossy. However, they can do it because of the respect and influence developed by showing gratitude for their before critical situations happen. Leaders that regularly show appreciation they set an important example, achieve better results, retain team members longer, and develop those they lead to become leaders.

In my Trust is the Cornerstone of the Leadership Foundation series, Setting the Example is one of the facets of that Cornerstone. When leaders influence from a place of gratitude, they begin the process of changing the way their brain functions. In turn, when they praise the work of others, and express appreciation for accomplishments, they become known as a positive influence. Others want to work for and follow leaders like this. According to John Antal in Leadership Rising, people who find reasons to be thankful are 25% happier than those who are resentful (page 107). As you publicly express your gratitude to those you work with, bosses, peers, and your team, not only do you become happier, those around you become happier. Publicly praising others increases your influence, which improves your leadership power.

Like any skill offering apprciation and gratitude rquires practice. The more you practice thanking others for their work and contributions, your offers of praise improve. You help create a culture of gratitude and begin the process of developing the next generation of leaders.
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Feedback helps those you lead to grow. This means you need to speak with your people about the quantity and quality of their work on a regular basis. Waiting for an annual review is too late to praise or correct. I once had a subordinate leader who was struggling to influence his team to accomplish assigned tasks. I am often in the spaces where people work in order to watch and learn. During several of my walk abouts, I noticed a particular leader provided information to his team well. He failed to assign tasks to team members, or seek input when possible about ways to accomplish the tasks assigned to his team. When I brought this to his attention, he said they should just know what to do. I asked him how they were supposed to know what to do unless he told them what parts of the task were their responsibilities. He stared at me. We discussed the importance of not only directing the overall work to be done, also assigning parts of the task to an individual so they would know what was expected of them. We also reviewed the importance of checking back to ensure people were meeting the expectations. I worked with this leader for a few weeks, but it wasn’t long before leaders senior to me noticed the team’s lack luster performance in a fast-paced operational environment, and he was terminated. People only know what to do and how well they are doing when we provide feedback as leaders. Opportunities exist to express gratitude every time leaders offer feedback for observed improvements.

Leadership is influencing others to implement behavioral changes to accomplish the organization’s mission. Leaders who lead well surround themselves with quality, motivated, competent, but imperfect people. Too many conversations about improvement begin from a position that something is wrong. Using an appreciative inquiry model allows leaders to acknowledge the great things people do. Appreciative inquiry recognizes all individuals and organizations have room to improve. Start improvement discussions by appreciating what people accomplished and express gratitude for their efforts. This creates safety, allowing them to consider what changes improve the good they accomplished to something better. Asking appropriate, probing questions to identify shortfalls and possible improvements provides personal investment for the changes the leader seeks. This process reduces resistance to change and improves outcomes because those creating the change, developed the plan. Gratitude is the foundation of the process and provides physiological safety required for effective teams. Appreciative inquiry also develops the next generation of leaders as they learn how to identify and fix problems.

Giving thanks to others develops leadership influence. Asking appreciative questions allows others to solve their own problems. Offering gratitude builds a foundation to build your team.
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Expressing gratitude is an effective way to lead others because it builds trust and safety for your team. When you express appreciation for the good things others do, you set an example for others to follow and establish a positive culture. From this foundation, you become known as a thankful leader which provides you greater influence with those you lead, your peers, and your leaders. Appreciative feedback ensures those you lead know what is expected of them, they will be recognized for the efforts, and are more likely to produce effective results consistently. Effective leaders use appropriate, probing questions. Those questions help establish what things are going well and allow followers to identify improvements. Followers discover for themselves how they can implement effective changes that improve success for them and the organization. Through these appreciative practices, people are more effective, create positive change, increase leadership power, and help the next generation of leaders develop from their leader’s example. In this season of thanksgiving, think of ways you can improve your gratitude practice with those you lead, reap the rewards of improved effectiveness, and empower your people. Thanks to all my faithful and regular readers.

References

Antal, J. (2021) Leadership rising. Casemate Publishers. Havertown, PA

Bushe, G.R. (2012) Appreciative inquiry: Theory and critique. In Boje, D., Burnes, B. and Hassard, J. (eds.) The Routledge Companion To Organizational Change (pp. 87-103). Oxford, UK: Routledge.

Duhigg, C. (2016). What Google learned from its quest to build the perfect team. The New York Times Magazine. Feb 25, 2016 ed. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the-perfect-team.html on 4/11/2022

Giuliano, G. (2024) Coaching for (a) change: How to engage, empower, and activate people. (1st Ed.) Wren House Press. E-Book.

Lask, M. (2020) Frameworks for leadership development. Leader Exchange and Coaching Seminar, Cohort 12, Northeast Regional CAC, Philadelphia, PA

Miller, C, Aguilar, C., Maslowski, L, Et al. (2004) The nonprofits’ guide to the power of appreciative inquiry. Community Development Institute. Denver, CO.

(c) 2025 Christopher St. Cyr

Always written with natural intelligence, no matter how flawed!

Leading with Gratitude

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First, thanks to all of you who have visited and subscribed to my blog. You keep coming back so I keep writing. I reached 100 posts on February 18th because of your encouragement. I had other posts already so I waited until now to mention and celebrate that accomplishment. I also want to thank you for your patience with this post as it may ramble a bit. Gratitude is an important leader quality. Here are two ways you can show gratitude and humility.

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My mother taught me about the importance of being humble and grateful. Throughout life, I learned there are many things I do not know and cannot do well. I make mistakes just like everyone else. Frequently people apologize seeking forgiveness without really think about what they are asking.

For example, if you promise to arrive someplace by a certain time and encounter an accident. It causes you to be late. You could apologize for being tardy, or you could express gratitude to those you were going to meet for their patience and understanding. When you express gratitude in such situations, you acknowledge your error and you also acknowledge the other person was inconvenienced by your express of gratitude. By thanking the others, you apologize from a position of strength. There is something different about thanking someone for their understanding rather than seeking their forgiveness. It shows you are repentant and grateful.

I used this tactic in my opening paragraph. My life has been very busy the last two weeks. I lacked time to reflect on leadership lessons and write about what I learned. As a result, I have a much shorter post than normal and fail to delve deeply into a topic or lesson. I could apologize for failing to create a quality post, or I can take my best swing and write a shorter, quality post about an important leadership trait and use the post as an example of how to execute the practice. In doing so, I have less reason to seek forgiveness and more reason to express gratitude.

A further example happened recently. I had engaged in a conversation with a person about an issue I found upsetting. I reflected on the problem before the conversation to avoid saying stupid things. I succeeded in that respect but the conversation clearly communicated I was upset. I learned that things were not what I was led to believe. At the end of the conversation, I thanked the person for taking time to explain the situation and remaining a trusted teammate. Had I ended the conversation with an apology, it would have appeared I made the mistake. I lacked all the information required to understand the situation. I only received the missing information by talking to this person. I was grateful for their time. I was grateful for their honesty. I was grateful to learn what I was led to believe was not true. That means I should say, “Thanks,” not “Sorry”.

Gratitude is also important to recognize the good work and efforts of others. Continuing my example of business in the last two weeks, others had to fill in some gaps created because my attention was required else where. That required staff to do some extra work. Like many places of employment, our job descriptions include the phase, “and such other work as may be required.” That catch all phrase is not a bye for leaders to fail to acknowledge the extra work others perform when they are absent. As a leader, my attention was required outside my regular circle. It allowed me to move the organization forward in ways I could not had I not stepped outside my daily activities. Failing to recognize the efforts of those who filled the gaps in my absence is just bad leadership.

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Upon my return, I expressed appreciation to the staff that filled the voids created by my absence. They ensured the lights stayed on and the bills were paid as I prepared for the future. Challenging your people to step up in times of need allows them to develop while also allowing you as a leader to grow. You could not move forward personally, professionally, or with the organization if you did not have those people you count on to run the organization when you are gone. You should be grateful they are willing to do those extra things in your absence. I think it was Napoleon who said something like, “Men accomplish amazing feats of courage for a little patch of cloth.” By that he was referring to the little pieces of ribbon Soldiers wear on their uniforms instead of the medals hung by those ribbons. Medals and ribbons cost the organization little. It is not like giving someone a raise requiring a continued cost. Those little tokens of appreciation, the pats on the back, the recognition at staff meetings for a job well done encourage people to continue to put forth extra effort.

Gratitude is an important leadership trait. Reflect on all the things your people do everyday, often without your supervision. Think of the times others suffered, even just a little, because of a mistake you made. Be thankful they put up with you. Instead of apologizing, thank people for their patience and understanding. Take time to notice the amazing things people in your organization do everyday without prompting. What does it really cost to say, “Thank you” in front of their peers, or to recognize their good work with your peers? Nothing. While the investment is small, the dividends of showing gratitude are large. Remember to thank those who make your life as a leader easier.