For too long the image of a boss has been a person who expresses little appreciation for the work of their employees and barks orders expecting immediate compliance. These bosses are not well respected, are marginally effective, and frequently lose people to others. Sometimes well respected leaders act bossy. However, they can do it because of the respect and influence developed by showing gratitude for their before critical situations happen. Leaders that regularly show appreciation they set an important example, achieve better results, retain team members longer, and develop those they lead to become leaders.

In my Trust is the Cornerstone of the Leadership Foundation series, Setting the Example is one of the facets of that Cornerstone. When leaders influence from a place of gratitude, they begin the process of changing the way their brain functions. In turn, when they praise the work of others, and express appreciation for accomplishments, they become known as a positive influence. Others want to work for and follow leaders like this. According to John Antal in Leadership Rising, people who find reasons to be thankful are 25% happier than those who are resentful (page 107). As you publicly express your gratitude to those you work with, bosses, peers, and your team, not only do you become happier, those around you become happier. Publicly praising others increases your influence, which improves your leadership power.

Feedback helps those you lead to grow. This means you need to speak with your people about the quantity and quality of their work on a regular basis. Waiting for an annual review is too late to praise or correct. I once had a subordinate leader who was struggling to influence his team to accomplish assigned tasks. I am often in the spaces where people work in order to watch and learn. During several of my walk abouts, I noticed a particular leader provided information to his team well. He failed to assign tasks to team members, or seek input when possible about ways to accomplish the tasks assigned to his team. When I brought this to his attention, he said they should just know what to do. I asked him how they were supposed to know what to do unless he told them what parts of the task were their responsibilities. He stared at me. We discussed the importance of not only directing the overall work to be done, also assigning parts of the task to an individual so they would know what was expected of them. We also reviewed the importance of checking back to ensure people were meeting the expectations. I worked with this leader for a few weeks, but it wasn’t long before leaders senior to me noticed the team’s lack luster performance in a fast-paced operational environment, and he was terminated. People only know what to do and how well they are doing when we provide feedback as leaders. Opportunities exist to express gratitude every time leaders offer feedback for observed improvements.

Leadership is influencing others to implement behavioral changes to accomplish the organization’s mission. Leaders who lead well surround themselves with quality, motivated, competent, but imperfect people. Too many conversations about improvement begin from a position that something is wrong. Using an appreciative inquiry model allows leaders to acknowledge the great things people do. Appreciative inquiry recognizes all individuals and organizations have room to improve. Start improvement discussions by appreciating what people accomplished and express gratitude for their efforts. This creates safety, allowing them to consider what changes improve the good they accomplished to something better. Asking appropriate, probing questions to identify shortfalls and possible improvements provides personal investment for the changes the leader seeks. This process reduces resistance to change and improves outcomes because those creating the change, developed the plan. Gratitude is the foundation of the process and provides physiological safety required for effective teams. Appreciative inquiry also develops the next generation of leaders as they learn how to identify and fix problems.

Expressing gratitude is an effective way to lead others because it builds trust and safety for your team. When you express appreciation for the good things others do, you set an example for others to follow and establish a positive culture. From this foundation, you become known as a thankful leader which provides you greater influence with those you lead, your peers, and your leaders. Appreciative feedback ensures those you lead know what is expected of them, they will be recognized for the efforts, and are more likely to produce effective results consistently. Effective leaders use appropriate, probing questions. Those questions help establish what things are going well and allow followers to identify improvements. Followers discover for themselves how they can implement effective changes that improve success for them and the organization. Through these appreciative practices, people are more effective, create positive change, increase leadership power, and help the next generation of leaders develop from their leader’s example. In this season of thanksgiving, think of ways you can improve your gratitude practice with those you lead, reap the rewards of improved effectiveness, and empower your people. Thanks to all my faithful and regular readers.

References

Antal, J. (2021) Leadership rising. Casemate Publishers. Havertown, PA

Bushe, G.R. (2012) Appreciative inquiry: Theory and critique. In Boje, D., Burnes, B. and Hassard, J. (eds.) The Routledge Companion To Organizational Change (pp. 87-103). Oxford, UK: Routledge.

Duhigg, C. (2016). What Google learned from its quest to build the perfect team. The New York Times Magazine. Feb 25, 2016 ed. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the-perfect-team.html on 4/11/2022

Giuliano, G. (2024) Coaching for (a) change: How to engage, empower, and activate people. (1^st Ed.) Wren House Press. E-Book.

Lask, M. (2020) Frameworks for leadership development. Leader Exchange and Coaching Seminar, Cohort 12, Northeast Regional CAC, Philadelphia, PA

Miller, C, Aguilar, C., Maslowski, L, Et al. (2004) The nonprofits’ guide to the power of appreciative inquiry. Community Development Institute. Denver, CO.

(c) 2025 Christopher St. Cyr

Always written with natural intelligence, no matter how flawed!